Sons and Daughters Month | The Fostering Network
This month is usually a celebration of sons and daughters who play an important role within a fostering family. My name is Conor Porter and I grew up in a family that fostered and believe that my experiences as a foster brother have helped to shape who I am today. Growing up my parents would always tell me about how lucky I was to have food on the table every night, a bed to sleep in and a family who loved me. As a young boy, I never really gave this a second thought, but at times did think to myself, surely this is normal? When my family became a fostering family, and looked after a child for the first time, this is when my perspective on life started to form.
At 12 year old, there was a young man living with us in our home due to issues that I was not completely aware of and I was now his foster brother. I continued to live my life as normally as I could, I spent time with my foster brother, we played games together and had lots of fun. There were lots of challenging times and as a young boy sometimes things did get too much, for example, I couldn’t seem to understand why my foster brother could be difficult towards my parents. One of the things I had to contend with as a young man growing up, was when playing at the local park, young people who I believed were my friends would bully my foster brothers or say nasty things about them. Even as a young man this did not sit right with me and I made a stance right there to stand up to anyone who felt it was appropriate to bully my foster brothers, or anyone else for that matter. I like to think that in doing this I made a positive change for both my foster brothers and other children; this experience definitely shaped my perspective and attitude towards life.
During a span of around 6 years, my family fostered three young boys at different times until they all successfully moved on to the next chapters in their life. As a family we also spent time providing respite care for different children. Whilst it might be hard to see the difference in a persons life you are making at the time, now I am older I can reflect on my time as a foster brother and see that it was positive for my foster brothers and it was also positive for me and my own development. I still have relationships with my foster brothers and see them regularly at family events.
The message I want to convey through my blog post this month is that, as a son or a daughter of a family who fosters, you have an important role to play in foster children’s lives. You have been fortunate enough to live in a family home and receive secure, safe, loving attachment. To share this life of yours and shape the future of a child in care is a big responsibility but is something that is amazing to be part of.
